Culture shock?

I've been feeling fairly isolated the last week or two. It took me some time to recognize that I was feeling this way, and once the word "isolation" came to me, a bell went off in my head: "DING DING! CULTURE SHOCK!"

Before we left the states, all of the study abroaders were given an informational packet by the good folks of CIEA, including a Book of Rules ("Please don't make all Americans look like idiots..."), contact information should we run into a crisis we can't handle, a list of everyone who was going abroad, yadda yadda. Hidden inside of this packet was a cheery green leaflet entitled "The Intercultural Adjustment Cycle". It has listed, step by step, 8 phases that every single person who travels abroad for an extended period of time will apparently experience. Of course my initial reaction, after briefly looking it over, was to think "Oh, so glad that they've figured out in detail every emotion that I'll be going through while I'm over there," and immediately banish it to the bottom of the pile with the rest of the silly, non-important documents. However, reading over it now there are a few passages that are fitting pretty well. Look:

...the novelty of a foreign culture wears off after a few weeks and most people enter a decline known as initial culture shock. Characteristics of this period are possible changes in sleeping habits, disorientation about how to work with and relate to others, and probably language dificulties and mental fatigue from speaking and listening to a foreign language all day.

And then, later:

At some point, however, the novelty wears off completely and the difficulties remain. Frustration increases, and a new and more pervasive sense of isolation can set in. Many times this period is accompanied by boredom and lack of motivation as the individual feels little stimulus to overcome the deeper and more troublesome difficulties he may be facing...

Disorientation: check. Language difficulties: check. Frustration, isolation, lack of motivation: check, check, check.

Of course, these passages come from two separate "stages", the first from "Initial Culture Shock" and the second from "Mental Isolation", separated by a positive period entitled "Surface Adjustment" which I just can't say whether I've encountered or not. I guess it was nice of them to try.

The thing is, the words "culture shock" imply to me that I should be having a negative/frustrated reaction to the culture. This doesn't appear to be the case--other than the fact that they let their dogs shit all over the sidewalks, I'm pretty okay with the French. Nor do I feel like these negative emotions are coming from living in a completely different culture--let's be honest, French culture isn't COMPLETELY different, it's all still pretty Western. If I were in Japan, maybe I'd buy it. I just don't feel like it's France that's doing this to me.

My difficulties seem to lie more in interpersonal relations. Never in my life have I felt this awkward. Sure, we're all a little awkward sometimes, some more than others, but now I feel as if I've taken it on as a personality trait. Granted, this is the first time that I've gone anywhere for an extended period of time without knowing a single person. I feel like I wasted too much time at the beginning being shy, and now that I've had enough of being alone to where I'll actually put myself out there, everyone's already formed into their own little cliques that I'm having a hard time breaking through. And that's just with the other Americans--I would absolutely love to develop real friendships with people who don't speak English, but it is just still so hard for me to communicate with them. Which, of course, makes me more uncomfortable and our interactions more awkward. Now, if I were looking at this situation from outside, I would tell myself to go for it, to be uncomfortable because it'll probably build character. But it's just that it's like this every single day. It wears down on a girl after awhile.

I'm trying to relax and let friendships develop at their own pace, but it's going slower than I'd like it to. On one hand I feel like I'm trying too hard, but on the other hand I feel like I should be trying harder. I can't remember ever being this unsure of myself.

Some days are better than others and I'm trying not to let it get me down too much. I'm sure that someday I'll look back on this as a wonderful learning experience, right?