This weekend I allowed myself to be bullied into going to a three-day birthday gathering somewhere in the countryside. The Frenchies were many, outnumbering the Anglophones at least 2.5 to 1 at any given time. Following are my thoughts/insights that have come from this little adventure:
1) The French countryside is beautiful. Taking buses/cars there and back, I got to see more of the landscape than I have on the 200+ mph TGV train. When I wasn't hanging on for dear life (the French manner of driving in the countryside is quite different than the American city driving that I'm used to), I couldn't help but stare out the window the entire time. The property on which the party was held was beautiful, too. Lots of open space. While I'll admit that I'm not really an outdoorsy person, it was quite nice to get out of the city for once. You don't really realize how clausterphobic city living can make you feel sometimes. The weekend was spent more outside than inside; lounging in the sun, watching the boys have silly masculinity-affirming competitions, barbecuing, dancing, drinking. At night we had a makeshift bonfire consisting of scrap wood, branches, and a bathtub. Although I have never in my life eaten so many sausages in such a condensed period of time, it was mostly an enjoyable way to pass a weekend.
2) Group dynamics were interesting to observe. It was a bit difficult for us to integrate with the Frenchies, mostly due to linguistic difficulties. I found it easier to talk to one or two of them at a time; that way, it was easier to focus on what was being said and they could more easily adjust their word choice/talking speed based on whether it looked like we knew what was going on. This method worked out quite well for me. I even spent an hour and a half talking to a guy about Romance language linguistics, after a few glasses of
Soupe Angevine (a testimonial to the fact that I've chosen the right field of study: I still want to talk about it when I drink). Sitting with a group of more than three Francophones, however, did not go so well. When French people talk to each other, I find it frustratingly difficult to understand what's going on. I laugh the loudest at the simplest jokes, because they're the only ones I can understand. I feel like most of us had the same problem, which resulted in a lot of us-and-them separation. We acknowledged the fact that it was awkard for us to be sitting in one place while all the French people were somewhere else, but there seemed to be not much we could do to fix the situation. For my part, when I was feeling too separated from the rest of the party I'd walk around and try to catch a Frenchie alone, with varying degrees of success. This whole situation is another one that would have frustrated me a lot more had I not been having so much fun analyzing it. Nerd.
3) On a related note, France is making me realize more and more that I am not a people person. In a discussion on which family role we all play in our group, I was designated the "shy little sister" that just tags along on everything and doesn't say much. That's fairly accurate. It was mentioned several times over the weekend: "elle est très timide". As I said earlier, I had to be bullied into going to this thing, because the prospect of a three-day party, with 50 people, in the countryside sounded absolutely horrendous to me. It's not like I could have just walked home when I didn't want to be there anymore, a tactic that I use quite frequently in my normal partying experiences. Thankfully it was not nearly as bad as it could have been and was actually a mostly enjoyable occasion, but there were a fair share of instances where I wanted to crawl into a hole and not interact with anyone. I'm working on finding a balance where I can still be pleasant and conversational, even if I'm not the life of the party. It's a process. In any case, I'm looking forward to the next two weekends, where I'll be traveling to Paris and Normandy to see a couple of touring bands from the States. Alone. By myself.
4) Still in the field of social interaction, it's odd spending such a long time with people that you usually only see in several-hour increments. You get more sides of a person when you're with them for more than 24 hours. The good, the bad, the ugly. How they act in a big group versus one-on-one, right after waking up versus the middle of the night, drunk versus sober. I feel like I got to know a few people a lot better, and generally I like what I've found. Conversely (and this could also just be my distaste for social interaction), towards the end I found myself much more easily annoyed. Perhaps short time increments are better with some people.
All that aside, I think we could call this weekend a success. Made some new friends, practiced my French, and successfully integrated elements of a dance party and vacation-like R&R into a single weekend. My life's not so bad.
